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Greg Gutfeld: you are in deep, whenever you litigate the definition of ‘stranded’

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Completely happy Tuesday everybody.  So, when issues get dangerous, what’s the very first thing the responsible occasion does? Argue over phrases. 

Keep in mind this traditional blast from the previous?

Invoice Clinton, September 1998: “It relies upon upon what the that means of the phrase “is” is”

Because it turned out, “is” meant “your spouse is going to lose to Trump in 20 years.” Didn’t see that coming.

And you already know you are in deep, whenever you’re litigating the definition of “stranded.”

Tuesday’s White Home press briefing, Peter Doocy: A lot of the criticism shouldn’t be of leaving Afghanistan? It is the way in which that he has ordered it to occur by pulling the troops earlier than getting these Individuals who are actually stranded. Does he have a way of that?

Jen Psaki: To start with, I believe it is irresponsible to say Individuals are stranded. They aren’t. We’re dedicated to bringing Individuals who wish to come dwelling, dwelling. 

// 

Doocy: there aren’t any Individuals stranded is the white home’s official place on what’s taking place in Afghanistan? 

Psaki: I’m simply calling you out for saying that we’re stranding Individuals in Afghanistan.

Received it – so it is similar to Tom Hanks wasn’t actually stranded on that desert island – he was vacationing with a ball he talked to! Boy, I’m glad we didn’t know this when “Gilligan’s Island” was on TV.  It could have ruined the entire plot!

I believed Peter Doocy left her stranded with that query however in some way she discovered her method out. She’s Bagdad Bob, with a bob! Speak about splitting hairs with a Taliban’s machete.

I ponder if there are different phrases we aren’t utilizing to her satisfaction.

*Skit of Psaki recharacterizing points within the office*

It looks like America is stranded in additional methods than one. Our navy leaders have allegedly instructed President Biden that he’ll must decide quickly on whether or not to increase the deadline to withdraw forces from Afghanistan. As a result of that’s the proper order for an evacuation: first, quit management of the airport, then attempt to fly everybody dwelling. That’s as good as placing on a helmet after you have been shot out of a cannon. Which is what I believe occurred to Joe in some unspecified time in the future in his life.

But it surely reveals you the mental constipation that paralyzes our so-called leaders. They prolonged wars indefinitely; misplaced lives, and thousands and thousands of {dollars}, however not less than the paperwork’s so as. In the meantime, the Taliban says they’ve drawn a purple line on deadlines. And you already know they imply it.    

It’s not an Obama purple line in Syria… Which he enforced in addition to Covid guidelines at his birthday celebration. I am so glad I skipped that. 

However the Taliban issuing orders to us – it’s like pouring salt on the wound — it is like after being fired, and safety tells you: “No, you may’t take your unicorn espresso mug. That belongs to the corporate.”

However right here the Taliban bought the whole lot anyway, together with the espresso mug. 

Did you see all of the weaponry they bought? If this does not make them have fun Christmas nothing will.

It is virtually inconceivable to get an extended rifle in New York Metropolis to shoot rats – however we simply handed over 1000’s of rifles, shotguns and howitzers to a bunch of radical Muslim fighters. They’re now on equal footing with a center college in Chicago!

We paid for all of that, and a few of that can doubtless be used towards us later. 

In order we watch this calamity proceed to unfold we must always in all probability cease listening to our leaders and begin listening to our troops. Like this fella right here.

Jon Jackson, Afghanistan Vet, Monday: The extra silly and naive Individuals are, is a testomony to what our struggle fighters are doing abroad.  The extra we take that battle to the enemy, the extra silly and naive we’re as Individuals, as a result of the second we’re woke nation, meaning any person has gotten in via the wire, accomplished what they should do, and wake this nation up, but it surely’s the American struggle fighter who’s on the market, protecting our nation secure and protecting America silly.

It is a good level.  The explanation why so many people, me particularly, weren’t eager about Afghanistan a lot – is as a result of we did not should. The work was being accomplished by these courageous fighters, so we by no means actually needed to think about the menace coming right here.

To make use of an adage: all of us benefit from the sausage we simply don’t wanna see the way it’s made. However now this catastrophic finish reveals us the sausage in reverse…and it sucks. I take some accountability.

I am one among thousands and thousands who bought distracted by the lifetime of nonstop, attention-grabbing leisure. As I lose myself in “The Bachelor” and Peloton, there unfolded a large number primarily based on many years of incompetent management and corruption. 

In the meantime our media fussed over pronouns and poisonous masculinity. And now essentially the most poisonous males on the planet are locked & loaded, on our dime. If solely our navy leaders have been as woke about nations like Afghanistan as they’re about us.

Keep in mind this second.

Gen. Mark Milley, June 23: I wish to perceive White rage. And I’m White, and I wish to perceive it.

Good for you. However subsequent time, perhaps prioritize. I might put profitable wars and defending Individuals in entrance of “understanding white rage.”

And the place’s Kamala in all this?

Kamala Harris, Singapore, Monday: The warning that if you wish to have Christmas toys to your kids, it’d now be the time to start out shopping for them as a result of the delay could also be many many months.”

What the hell is she doing?

However I assume speaking about Christmas is smart after what we simply gave the Taliban. 

So by no means thoughts 1000’s of Individuals lives which can be in danger…. your youngsters aren’t gonna have that new Gameboy (made in China) if we do not reduce carbon emissions on this nation by one other 25 p.c.

To suppose our media as soon as thought Sarah Palin was a light-weight. Kamala makes Palin seem like a cross between Margaret Thatcher and one other Margaret Thatcher.

Look I do know our leaders are sometimes idiots. However we will’t be this silly anymore and ship our children to overseas lands for many years, just for it to culminate in… this.

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The least that our inept leaders can do shouldn’t be arm the enemy. That’s like our cops shopping for Antifa blow torches, hammers and getaway automobiles.

However you gotta surprise why Kamala would deliver up Christmas in August. Possibly, she’s is aware of that in December, she’ll be too busy being president.

This text is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the August 24, 2021 version of “Gutfeld!”

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