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Greg Gutfeld: When liberals work, they destroy issues

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So right here’s one thing enjoyable. Donald Trump is formally extra standard than Joe Biden.

It’s true – in line with the newest Harvard/Harris ballot, Trump rose to 48 %, Biden dropped to 46. How is Biden even at 46?

In a standard world, he’d be at 2% – simply forward of “shedding your house in a twister.” Yep – there are loads of issues extra standard than Joe Biden. Tinnitus. Painful rectal itch. Kamala Harris. However I repeat myself 

It’s true. Harris is doing higher than Joe in nationwide polling. Which is straightforward to clarify. She’s doing nothing. He is doing one thing.

And analysis exhibits the much less a liberal really works, the extra standard they’re. It is cuz once they do work, they destroy issues.

They’re like a bull in a china store – one which Joe and Hunter are most likely silent companions in. Besides they’re extra like rats in a sinking ship. Or perhaps snakes within the grass. 

Which brings us to Joe. Bear in mind how beloved he was when he was chained to a radiator in a basement, watching reruns of Matlock, ingesting a juice field and ready for the transfusion. These have been the times. When Joe solely got here exterior simply as soon as, to foretell six extra weeks of winter.

However then he received and needed to get to work. Since then, it’s been a groundhog day of coverage failures, gaffes, and catastrophes. So that they loaded Joe up with Prevagen and aid issue and pointed him to the White House. The place after eight makes an attempt, he discovered the doorway, and set to work. And boy was {that a} unhealthy concept.

Have you ever checked America 2021 below Joe? It is now a surprisingly hobbled, chaotic mess. Briefly, Biden remade the nation within the picture of himself. It’s true, the nation’s simply two weeks away from getting hair plugs.

The decline displays his personal constant decline. It’s unhappy – he’s falling aside quicker than a whopper you’re making an attempt to eat whereas driving. But he claims he has issues below management.

Like he had Afghanistan below management. Like he had the pandemic below management. Like he has his bladder below management. No, the one factor below management, is Joe. Managed. By whom? 

Effectively, let’s discuss homicide. Homicides have risen 30 % in 2020, the most important rise since nationwide information started in 1960. We’re witnessing the most important spike in 60 years. It’s like again to the longer term, besides the Delorean can’t afford the gasoline.

However that’s not how the media stories it. NBC claims that crime is definitely falling quicker than CNN’s rankings. How did they get to that idiotic place? Have they been eating with Don Lemon?

Don Lemon, September 2020: In case you watch a sure state TV and also you hearken to conservative media you’d suppose that, you recognize, whole cities are simply, you recognize, embroiled in fights and fires and no matter. We went out and had an ideal dinner in New York Metropolis tonight.

Don enjoys any meal with out Brian Stelter below the desk begging for scraps. 

Anyway, they primarily based this drop in crime on a report by a left-wing suppose tank. Which deceptively mixed seven various kinds of crime; developing with an “total crime quantity, which NBC embraced like an unpaid intern at a scorching tub celebration. (Shout out to Matt Lauer) 

As a result of thefts are four occasions extra frequent than violent crimes, the general quantity hides the rise of violent crime in cities. They’re chopping violent crime numbers with nonviolent crime numbers. The way in which a coke vendor would minimize his product with powdered laxatives.

(Boy did that break a couple of dates again within the 90s).

In impact. NBC’s reporting is like telling a mugging sufferer to cheer up as a result of mail fraud is barely down! So why would they try this?

Effectively, the spike in homicide adopted the unrest after George Floyd’s killing. Unrest that was cheered by the media.

They selected to not report on the riots, the looting, the arson, as a result of it will taint the narrative of a larger American oppression.  In impact, we deserved the assaults.

However now the information implicates the media, and the Dems – who let their cities descend into mayhem. In an ideal world Jeff Zucker can be sharing a cell with Nancy Pelosi.

I’m wondering what the offended Black male thinks.

Tyrus: It seems to be like I’m taking part in my online game in a pink room and a pink sofa. It’s not. Don’t imagine your mendacity eyes. It’s a inexperienced room with camouflage and I’m sitting on a cannon proper now. Pay no consideration to the details in entrance of you. For my subsequent trick, I’ll pee down your again and inform you it’s rain. That’s not that humorous. Crime is actually up. Due to this woke administration. That truly makes me offended. Don’t make me offended. You wouldn’t like me if I used to be offended.

Then there’s the border. Or what was once a border. For months, Fox sounded this alarm. But it surely was ignored, as a result of it was Fox. It’s the best self-inflicted habits I’ve seen since shelly lengthy determined to go away cheers. 

Think about somebody you dislike telling you one thing that might actually enable you – and also you reject it as a result of their politics don’t align.

*Skit of individual in purple hat making an attempt to assist somebody keep away from loss of life however is rejected resulting from politics*

By the way in which, shout out to the grim reaper for taking the time to assist us with that skit. He is right here within the viewers tonight. Huge fan apparently.

So Fox provided months of disturbing footage, that everybody else in media ignored. Till they may discover one picture they may distort into one thing worse than slavery. Oh, look a white man on horseback!! It seems to be identical to that statue of teddy Roosevelt we simply tore down! 

Maxine Waters, Wednesday: What the hell are we doing right here? What we witnessed takes us again lots of of years. What we witnessed was worse than what we witnessed in slavery.

Apparently, hundreds of Blacks struggling in squalid situations didn’t matter to mad Max till she might pin it on a White man.

Effectively – she might have performed that earlier than – however that man can be her boss within the White Home.

So proper now the 2 most elementary issues a authorities ought to get proper – legislation and order, and the border, have been sacrificed on the altar of progressivism.  And we’re all getting splattered with the blood.

And that’s what’s controlling Joe. An ideology he would not even perceive. Joe is now unpopular as a result of we will all see what many people noticed a 12 months in the past. Like one in all Hunter’s dates, this was only a trick.

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America was tricked into pondering he was as center of the highway as a squashed possum. However actually, he was an empty vessel, like a new child little one’s thoughts whose dad and mom might fill with good or evil values.

And now we’re paying the worth with a disintegrating border and a disintegrating president. However hey, at the least he would not tweet!

This text is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the September 23, 2021 version of “Gutfeld!”

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